October 16, 2009

Depression

Eeee ! I don't even have enough strength to blog. But a tiny voice in my head kept saying "Law Shay, duty is duty. Plus, blogging would relieve your suffering." Therefore, I am writing this. Is it something they call a depression ?

I stayed late last night. To counter my dizziness, I decided to take the soup-based meal again. In the canteen - which is quite close to school's clinic - I found "Wine Chicken Noodle". It contains some vegetables - probably cabbage, chicken soaked in wine and noodle in a clear delicious but smelly soup. In some restaurants, I found it is named "Drunken Chicken Noodle" or alike and charged much. However, school canteen is just school canteen and it was just $2.00.

Umm ? The wine ? No, not that expensive wine. It was cooking wine just $3.00 a bottle. :P

It may be due to prolonged sleeplessness - I prone to fall sick if I am sleepless - the stress built-up. This evening, the experiments gave me mixed results. My new work is a hybrid of a simple one and a complex one and, like many hybrid works, its performance is in the middle to those two. Now, I am very afraid - not afraid about being scolded (my supervisor would never do that) but about having wasted nearly a year working on this good-for-nothing algorithm.

I wanna cry but tears won't come out. I noticed that I have some stress fatigue as well as some depression. It was a good thing that I noticed - rather than going unnoticed. I rang two of my Onee Chans to talk out. Luckily, R* - remember who's some problem with the loan sharks - rang me too. I spoke out and felt a little relieve. I decided to keep talking out - hence writing this post. 

After this, I'd e-mail my findings (the mixed results) to my supervisor and go to bed. I am quite ok now. (Sorry, my reader, for unloading my stress onto you)

No comments:

Post a Comment

Guess Count

Since August 1st, 2009, Law Shay had enjoyed his lunch together with friends.